Diamondbacks News

Impact Gel Should Have Been in Dbacks Shoes

By Scott Allen

The late great Billy Mays pitched Impact Gel, an energy-absorbing shoe insert.  It was one his more popular pitches.  Maybe someone in the Arizona Diamondbacks organization took notice?  They could use something, anything, to net consistent positive results.

Demonstrating that inconsistency, the Arizona Diamondbacks lost another game this evening to the Cincinnati Reds 1-0.  Starting pitcher Jon Garland pitched a great game.  Once again though the Diamondbacks offense took the night off.  They had their chances.  None better than the bases loaded opportunity for Felipe Lopez in the seventh inning.  He worked to a full count against Reds reliever Arthur Rhodes before bowing out with a lazy fly ball.

Lazy seemed to be the feeling of the game.  The Dbacks produced several quick innings for Reds starter Johnny Cueto.  Everytime I turned around the Reds were hitting again.  The Dbacks managed just two hits – two!  This on and off again offense is growing tiresome, but what we can you do?  Complaining isn’t changing anything.  I’d have them try anything at this point.  That’s where Impact Gel comes in.  Oh, there are so many things they could try at this point.  A complete blow up of the team is still a great option.  I know it’s one I’ve suggested before, but seriously, they should give it some thought.  I’m falling for the thought.

Oh and by the way, if you are reading this and want to complain that you got to this page because of Impact Gel, go ahead and complain away.  You’re here aren’t you?  If you think it’s “low” or “bad taste” or “God will strike me down”, go ahead and think that too. None of that is true, but it sure makes for a great laugh on my part.  Thank you for reading!

Scott Allen