Crash Davis Was Busy

After being released by the Padres, the Tampa Rays picked him up and never panned out after a brief stint before being optioned to AAA Durham.  From there is went even further downhill, ending his first MLB stint with a brief stop with the Seattle Mariners minor league system. Eventually he found himself out of baseball completely until the Diamondbacks came calling last November and signed him to the minor league contract.

That's all thanks to former Padres and current Dbacks general manager Kevin Towers.

""Things weren't going well, so I moved back to California and kind of got my priorities straight and took this opportunity these guys gave me" - Burroughs"

So what Burroughs really meant by that was "I suck at baseball and had a messed up life.  I went back to California, got a cushy job with my girl's daddy until that money ran out.  Then I prayed Kevin Towers would find another job and hope he was drunk enough a second time to give me another chance.  Luckily I ran into him at the strip club with a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand and said he was looking to re-live some of his Padres days by signing washed up talent to minor league deals and hope for the best, so here I am"

Granted, I had a little help embellishing that take from my good friend Brian, however it has to be closer to the truth in that statement than the West Virginia state motto of "Mountaineers are always free" or the  Utah license plate which reads "Life is Elevated", which in my estimation means there are a lot of pot smokers there.

Anyway, my best guess of them all was Crash Davis wasn't available for third base duty for the Dbacks.  His days must be spent with Annie Savoy.  Either that or he's coaching some rookie ball somewhere in Montana, either way Burroughs is back.  Let's just hope he fairs better this time and doesn't live up to his former nickname "The Bachelor", which referred to the ABC show.  He was called that because all he could hit was singles.  He'll only stay here hitting singles if there are runners in scoring position, otherwise it might be short stay.

Now, anyone have Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh's number?  We need a new pitcher in the starting roation.